Crying Since Last Tuesday.

This week has been tremendously chaotic.
IB slammed a bunch of homework in my face at the beginning of October/November... and hasn't stopped since. It's like an avalanche of projects and essays have overflowed into my life.... burying me deep underneath its weight.
I put all this effort into writing essays, and they've been torn apart and given low grades. I think the issue, was me going into it, expecting a lot... and getting little out of myself, as that is what seems so apparent. Amongst getting back essays covered in red ink, I've also been spending my time volunteering for Key Club activities... getting involved in the community. That's been a real great experience, and usually during whatever task it is, I'm happy and content. I'm where I want to be. Then... I get home... and I realize that I could have spent that time doing homework... or practicing my piano.

This week, I only got to practice my piano once. It didn't last long. I was super frustrated. I've not only let work get the best of me, but emotionally I've been distraught. Friendships are tearing me apart... and not in the usual sense. I'd rather not explain.

It was hard. I spent a good five days tense and angry. Since last Tuesday, I've gone home balling my eyes out to my Mumsie and Pops.

Then... come Saturday night... .and then Sunday night, I just broke down and told my Mum a ton of stuff that was bothering me. It was great. I cried a ton. Hahaha.

But you see, as soon as I did that, all the good stuff started to happen.

And God had to tell me something three times before it finally sunk in.

First.... my parent's advice:

a.) Don't lose track of the things you love most.
b.) I should never enter/leave a friendship/relationship feeling sorry for the person

Second... the Dinkles' advice:

a.) He gave me some tips on handling how the teachers grade my work, and how I can progress in a way that's good for the both of us.
b.) In short, I need to stick to what I love.... that I will excel no matter what.

Thirdly.... my piano teacher: Noftle's advice:

a.) God's blessed me with some incredible talents, and I shouldn't forget the things that I love. It's good to prioritize... and to just not forget the things that I love most.
b.) Piano Practicing Tips for People With Little Or Next To No Time :)

What was amazing was the fact that I hadn't told the Dinkles and Noftle (esp. Noftle!) any of the immense details that were stressing me out... and yet their advice covered it all. It was all deeply motivating and encouraging. There's a ton of details from all of these inspirational people written within the pages of my diary...

But the point of this blog was to encourage you.

Maybe you're going through some unbearable things... maybe you've booked up your calendar with a lot of stuff, and on top of all the work, emotional friendships are tying you down....
Just don't forget the people and the things you love most.

It hurts me to say this, but I think that over all... There was just a simple line hidden within the caverns of my complex brain :P (psht, hahaha. complex. HA. Emotion wise, yes!)... a line I had simply forgotten:

Follow your dreams. Love. Forever... love.

I knew what it meant to be loved... but I had forgotten to keep loving.

When I wrote that line in my diary... I almost started crying again.

Even during this busy Christmas season, we can forget what's most important.

Don't.

Never let it happen.

Always remember the things you love most.

I Owe You A Post.

I apologize for my lack of writing on this blog...but it's because I've started a new one: http://decidedlysmiling.blogspot.com/

Most of my writing, both casual and formal, is now done there.

But, you see, today, I thought I'd rummage through my old blog....and write.

I'm not too sure what I should talk about though.

I've been going through a great life journey.
I've been in this stance....where I am so struck by awe at the glory of God.
I mean; take a look around you. Look at the sky, the earth, the flowers, the dirt. The trees....they stand so tall. Look at the people in your life.
God created them.
And we have to love them...whether we want to or not.

To be quite honest with you, I have struggled with my faith over the past few months.
But...then all this hit me.
Only a beautiful, supernatural, loving God could have created all this.
Not science....not a dead man....but an awesome God!

Regarding these people that we have to love whether we want to or not...well......what has also struck me is that we are here for such a short time, in the grand scheme of things....and in reality....these people who don't like us....these annoying friends who don't care.......well.......the best we can do is pray for them. Because we are all just struggling to get through this rat race called life.
We all have problems.
We all have issues that we must face.
We're all, to some degree, afraid.

I wish we could all move past every hindrance just to be able to love one another.

Because...to some extent, we are all so equal...we are all just the same.

I'm struggling with a lot of friendships.....
But I've realized....it doesn't matter how many friends you have...but the quality of friendship you have with just a few.

And I've realized that my God is so great...so big....so mighty......He'd move mountains for any of us.
His awesome, worthy, power, can change anything in a split second.
Just take a look around you.
He made all this.

The way I see it....if He can make all this......He'll make a way for us to see the sunshine, in whatever storm we're in.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q6o4sbndVE&feature=feedf

check that vid out. ;)