Tough Stuff

‎"If someone slaps you on one check, offer the other cheek also." Luke 6:29

Okay. So....starting from this verse i guess....maybe a little before, I read on through the chapter. It discusses the necessity of love and how we must push on, spreading the love. Jesus tells us that we need to keep on loving....no matter the circumstance.

THE NEXT DAY ( I read that last night!!! The next day = today)
I WAS TESTED.
No joke.
See I was tested with someone from school who I'm not even friends with...she was demeaning and bothered me to a T. You know...one of those preppy girls who just needs Jesus.
Well.
I came home crying to be quite honest....and told the story to my parents...half way through realizing I had just read about dealing with this sort of thing LAST NIGHT.
Goodness me.

See....the dealio is, turning my cheek from this, probably one of the hardest things to do.

Here's the rest of the verses I read:

27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

Very very very very arduous.

But encouraging...because God's just revealed to me that He's here in the midst of a silence. He's here with me.
He's here.
And His love will carry on.

I wrote a song because of this.


Oh how God's love is so relentless.

What is Love?

Just thought I'd share something that's on my heart.....

The fact that....love.
Love is such a strong word.
Love is everlasting. Love never lets go.

Wanna know something else that's strong? This verse.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails."
1Cor 13:4-8

It's just amazing....that the only everlasting love we are guaranteed to receive...forevermore....is the love of God.

So maybe you think I'm talking crap.

I'm not. I'm completely convinced that God will love through imperfections...through mistakes....through anything.

He doesn't care what we've done.....

and that....that's just epically amazing in my eyes. :)
It's comforting to know that through awful circumstances, the Big Guy upstairs is smiling down at me...ready to embrace me...ready to listen to me rant and rave about everything that's gone wrong in my day.

See...this love...this real love....it's none of that:

i luv you
i luv u
ilu
I (heart) U

junk.

It's simply...and deeply...
I love you.

The Father's Love...

Sometimes not living up to our own expectations, expands our peripheral vision....we see things that we can change to benefit us...things that were blind to our eyes are now being seen by our hearts...it benefits our future. Its recognizing that what we haven't done...can be changed....
That it's never too late...

Our naked eye sees the outer object. Our heart sees the circumstance inside and out.

It's thanks to Jesus we have the will to want change. It's thanks to His death we have forgiveness. It's thanks to our Father God for eternal guidance....as much as we want it....as much as we need it.

The problem? We don't need to go through constant guilt trips about what we could have done....that's not to say we should take advantage of this! No; it's just that we have the freedom to bear nothing after...being...shall we say with God. Jesus' death forgave us of every wrong....and that is what grants us freedom. His love....surpasses every bit of knowledge. And when we find the strain of this world to be overly consuming...it's then we find peace in Him. In the Father's Love.


"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." Col 3:15

There May Be Pain in the Night....but Joy Comes in the Morning

=)

Nothing is impossible....

Days can go by where we think everything will just pile up to amount to absolutely nothing....
That's when the Big Guy upstairs reminds us everything happens for a reason.
Sure, certain circumstances happen because we make the wrong choices....but all in all God's just stickin' the broken pottery pieces of our life back together to make something as perfect as possible....
and we know that if it's God who's making it, obviously it's gonna look beautiful....

Jazzy: Live

Dear me.
I am going to take up piano again.
:3
I haven't been to lessons in a year, and even so, I only have my level one.
Under pressure, I tried practicing today.

:O

Epic fail. :) Mainly because I was forcing myself to play and I wasn't exactly into it....or in "the moment." :P

Somedays I can do it, and other days (like the present) are just fumbling notes and missed keys.

Must be one of those off days.

:) Haha....I just thought of Jeremiah....
How God told him He had appointed him (to be a prophet to the nations)....
And Jeremiah instantly refused...or at least tried. I don't think you can refuse to do something that God wants you to do :) No matter how hard....But that's another story in itself.
Back to Jerry there.
God had complete confidence in Him. He needed Jeremiah to BE.

So maybe I'm not being appointed to do the exact same thing.
And maybe my task is small.
:)
But I know that any task, big or small, is still a task in itself.
Anywho....
I'm going to go to piano lessons.
I'll rock it.
:P
ahahahaha
That can be said in a good or negative demeanor. I mean....I'm sure no piano teacher really wants there piano to be rocked. =3
haha
man.
**dry humour**

This is one blog like no other I've posted.

I'm pretty much sleeping, but still feel like writing...

Sitting here with my two best friends at 2:31AM has given me the idea to write a blogpost.
Weird.
I'm so dead right now it's unreal.
But here it is, and I'm ready to deliver it.
Through half-closed eyes.

The greatest friends willingly stay up all hours of the night just to watch movies with you and laugh at the most un-hilarious things.

It kinda reminded me...
God's like that.
He doesn't care what time it is.
What you have to say.
He'll talk with you....He'll listen....and even if we don't know it....He's probably laughing at the same things you find funny.

Peace.

Empty out your pockets....
the ones that have been weighed down
boulder after boulder
pebble after pebble

Empty out the stones
the ones you've gathered over years
bitterness with pleasure
agony with sneers

Cast them into the river
So they may sink into the past

Let them splash and skip
Amongst the carelessness of love

Turn your rocks into stones of gladness
Collectibles of rubies, emeralds, and diamonds...

Turn your rocks into blooming flowers
To be part of the Father's garden....
daisies....daffodils....and roses.

And allow God...to water your abundant, beautiful garden.

Everything Dies a Little...in Order to Experience New Growth...

Take for instance a basket of flowers.
You know...those gorgeous hanging ones you can buy at the store.....? Luscious; beautiful.
Two weeks later....they're draggin along...not as wonderful as the day you bought them.....
So, as the experienced gardener you are, you trim them back....hack em down....they endure a little pain and end up flowerless. Then in no time, they're back to the way you got them--only even more flower-bearing! Superb! Sweet scented! Amazing!

We are the basket of flowers.
God is our gardener....
and for our own benefit, sometimes He makes us endure storms...sometimes he cuts us back a little...
But in the end we're only gonna be even more happier then how we originally came about to be.

God loves us. He always will. He has faith in us. Just as the experienced gardener trusts his flowers will come back even more beautiful then before, so does God trust we will be gratified and even more beautified given some time.

Know these hard times are for the better.
xoxo

Ponder.

Listening to this while drinking some green tea:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGuDO7FfDWQ

i have no idea what it means....
but it prompted me to write this:

Don't forget to meditate. There's no need to keep yourself busy all the time...sometimes we need rest. So take a deep breath and inhale the renewing.

Much Love
xoxo
jazee.

Know You're Not Alone, But Well Equiped.

Life is a choice.
Filled with choices.
And in those choices are choices.

So.....choose life.

Don't make things more complicated then they already are....and don't think they're complicated in the first place! Take a deep breath, inhale the love that surrounds you and implicate more of that love into your life.
I should start taking my own advice.
But....You know...I was re-reading this series I have: "Elijah Creek and the Armor of God" and this came up....

(Listen to this as you read: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSwov6Zp1hY )

The Armor of God

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

New International Version (NIV)

Ephesians 6:10-18

It really struck me, because part of the plot in these books is a.) to find the armor and b.) to put on the full armor of God

Life is more then just living it daily, letting things pass, letting things go....just letting it pass us by. We're worth more then that! We have a momentum....we have meaning...we're meant to be....to BE. EXIST!

TRUTH: "that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality...."
~~my thoughts: Putting on the belt of truth is knowing God is the way, the answer, that He's blessed us with a life affirming richness...that His wonderful grace is what makes us live, what makes our hearts beat, what gives us the strength and impeding force to strike the evil forces in the heavenly realms!

RIGHTEOUSNESS:-->Righteous: "1. morally right or justifiable; virtuous 2. perfectly wonderful; fine and genuine"
~~my thoughts: The breastplate covers the chest, and "in ancient times, (it was) a jeweled vestment covering the chest of the Jewish high priest." I was thinking: God truly does love us, He didn't die for us without reason! We are meant to be and He WILL protect us as He chooses! He gave us the breastplate of righteousness to justify our actions against the enemy! We have a right to stand our ground. We have a right to praise His name! We are important! We are a vital piece to the Kingdom of God!

PEACE: "freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility."
~~my thoughts: Stand peacefully fitted with the gospel of peace. Know you did right. Know that the enemy isn't allowed to steal kill and destroy from you! Know that God LOVES YOU! Here's the second definition for 'peace:' "a.) Freedom from or the cessation of war or violence. b.) freedom from civil disorder. c.) freedom from dispute or dissension between individuals or groups"
~~God's love and never ending promise reveals itself again! The Gospel of Peace--> The Teaching of Freedom from Disturbance! When I read these definitions and put them together, I visualized the ark...and Noah....and that rainbow of Promise....
God will protect us through the storm. Through our battles there will eventually come a time of tranquility. We just have to be FITTED....FIRM....IN PLACE....ready to speak the quiet serene love and teaching of God's peace. God's peace will come to us. The battle will be won. God will help us. He will aid us with what He's provided. We need to "put on the full armor of God so that we can take our stand against the devil's schemes." God's peace will come. His peace....will sustain.

FAITH: "complete trust or confidence in someone or something; a strong belief in God."
~~my thoughts: We have to trust God. It's the most necessary definite period of time. In fact, without trust, how else will we fight these battles? Our trust in God fights of the flaming arrows of the evil one! Our trust in God fends for us. Our faith holds us together and connects us to God, when we want to fall apart. When we're ready to give up, when we want to quit...faith...we just need faith. Hold on to that faith. As little as it is....in retrospect we will be delighted and thrilled that we grasped on to it with breaking arms and malfunctioning fingers.

SALVATION: "1. deliverance from sin and its consequences, believed by Christians to be brought about by faith in Christ. 2. preservation or deliverance from harm, ruin, or loss"
~~my thoughts:The helmet. It covers the head. (I know, obvious.) But think about it! We "put on" the helmet of salvation, and it'll deliver us from sin and its consequences! It keeps everything in place--helps us remember the fight and not get screwed up. We're not a bunch of Christians with mental cases! No! We are delivered by Christ--> and it's all connected to FAITH! If we continue to trust God--if we continue to have faith--salvation will hold us together...draws us together....keeps us together... ♥

sword of the SPIRIT, which is the Word of God:
~~my thoughts: [I put the whole part together because I can't define SPIRIT without the whole sentence there for ya. ;)] Here's a mini blog for you. :)

The Spirit:

John 15: 26-27"When the Friend I plan to send you from the Father comes—the Spirit of Truth issuing from the Father—he will confirm everything about me. You, too, from your side must give your confirming evidence, since you are in this with me from the start."

The Bible also states that God is three in one; the Trinity. The Holy Spirit is the Word of God.

The sword is "used for thrusting or striking" it is "military power, violence, or destruction." The Holy Spirit is the Sword.

You making the connection? I think this is getting deep, and I plan to expand on it and add more verses, but I'll leave you with that to meditate on.


Don't be afraid of the Holy Spirt...nor of God...nor of Jesus. The three in one; they're here for us....and we are here for them. Him. God. God's given us the armor. Now it's time for us to put it on....spiritually. Fight the battles of the Heavenly Realms...and be unafraid.

Unafraid to live.
Unafraid to battle.
Unafraid. Period.

Thank You Ms. H and Mr. S.

All i gotta say is

Thanks.

Thank you best friends for understanding me.

Thanks for being wonderful....amazing.....and ever loving.

Love you two.

Love you God for putting these besties in my life.

Trust. Keep up the Faith.

Sometimes waiting gets tiresome. Like...one doesn't know what to do....
It's a time for waiting though. It's a time for necessary rest.

Psalm 20:7
"Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God."

Don't lose faith out there. Our awesome God always has something magnificent planned. Something that'll blow our minds. Even though He may feel silence is the best medicine for whatever we're going through...keep up the faith. It's what we have to grasp onto. It's what we must hold onto for dear life. Eventually...things will get better. Eventually...things will fall into the right spot. Eventually...we'll be eternally happy.

Trust.
Have faith.
He's not about to let go of you.
So..don't let go of Him.

As I always say....He loves us too much.

Fearless

Just thought I'd encourage you guys to be ready and FEARLESS! to do God's works. Sometimes He makes us do things we don't necessarily want to do, cause we know that the outcome may be slightly embarrassing and what not--BUT IM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT THE OUTCOME WILL ALWAYS BE OOBERIFIC! I speak from experience when I say this. The enemy (Satan) may try and distort our thoughts and release fear into our souls, but that's when we have to click in and REBUKE the enemy and whatever's trying to attack us. God's love will always remain in the end. His peace will always last when we call on Him. The Holy Spirit is amazing and will ROCK YOUR WORLD. Just be ready. Ready to spread the Good News. Ready to fight for what's right. Ready to make Him Number ONE in EVERYTHING we do.

So I'm READY TO BE FEARLESS!
Whoot!
I'm ready to talk about the Miracles of Jesus, what He's done in my life, to my friends at school. I'm scared--not all of them are Christians, in fact the majority (98%) aren't! But that's what makes this all so very exciting! How else are we gonna get our friends to experience our Creator's amazing love if we don't tell them about it!!!! God will give us the amazing strength, boldness, and eternal love, to share our faith with others. If we take that step, I know His peace is gonna be more overwhelming then anything else.

I'm ready to be fearless.
Are you?

I leave you with these link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR7VOKQ0xJY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4EPnM62O8A&feature=related

Love Jazzy.

With Sacrifice Comes Great Victory.

What sucks is when people only wanna listen to what they wanna hear. We as humans of the earthly realm...well...we can be kinda stupid.

Truth is...it's time to stop and listen to what God wants us to hear.

Thing is, He's not always a big voice BOOMIN in the air. (= I wish it was that easy. Then I'd know what to do in every moment of my life.
But God speaks through people, he speaks through your conscience.....yada......mainly: He speaks the way He wants you to hear it.

Truth be told bluntly, we humans want everything quickly and right here and now. We don't wanna go through the work, we want it handed straight to us.

The learning process....the steps we take to achieve a new level, are all part of growing.
We learn our ABCs, we grow.
We learn about food, we grow.
We eat the food, we grow.
We learn about other countries, nation-building, colonization, ideology, etc....we grow.
We learn about other languages we grow.
We learn about things we grow....I think you get the point.
Then there's the other side of the line, where when we go through something tough, we see it later on and know how to deal with it. We grow spiritually.

All in all, whatever He's gonna tell us to do, I can honestly say that no matter what we'll have to take steps in order to accomplish it, but we're always gonna grow in the end.

Just be determined to finish the race.
And listen.
Let's be Samuels....and listen.
"Here I am."

Faith Enough.

So lately I've been wanting to go on a missions trip.

Like...passionately been wanting to....and ironic enough, I went to this Worship Invasion nite, and this is a story that was told:

This guy, like....a teen....who's one "skill" was being able to speak a second language of Spanish...and he really wanted to go on a missions trip to South America; he felt God wanted him to go there. So this boy set out on asking his pastor for some help...but the pastor told him that he wouldn't help, because this boy didn't go to Bible College, hadn't even finished highschool, etc. So, determined, the boy went to another pastor, and this pastor saw something different in the boy's story. He saw the passion and fire in the boy's eyes. This pastor said he would sponsor him....but all that he could do was send him over there, and give him $10 a month.

This boy walked all over South America. He went from village to village doing what God had asked him to do: share his testimony, share the gospel. He soon grew into a man and married a woman he met and they continued to travel all over South America. Soon people were building churches because they had grown to know Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit, thanks to this boy who had decided to share his faith.
Eventually they started a family, and decided to stay in one spot in South America; there they planted their own church...

Amazing.
See? No matter what the circumstance is--God will make a way. God will get you there.
You just gotta have faith enough. ♥

And you think God can't get you through something: PFFFFT.

God LOVES you and can do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.

He'll make a way.

I know He will. ♥

Silver-Lining in the Distance

...because to face thundering storms is to enhance our growth period and in the end, we'll always be satisfied with what He's provided. Completely and totally blessed.
For what the future has I do not know, but I trust my Saviour and know His plan is greater then my own.

Intercede. Don't Quit.

It's during times like these, that we're challenged to keep on praying. <3 God...I will not stop praying. And although this is like another storm...I thank you for this challenge...because all in all...I think it's strengthening every one of us who are involved.

We will not be stopped.
We are interceders.

You are Loved

You are Loved.

Not only are you loved by me, family and friends...but by God.

I wish I could see you face to face...tell you everything....I wish....you could understand....I wish.....you'd see with open eyes...an open heart....

You're still here because God loves you...and He has a plan for you thats so prosperous, mind-blowing, and exuberant, that it will only happen if you take hold of His hand!! God wants you to HOLD HIS HAND!

You're like a little boy...you've grown up...knowing the difference between what is right and what is wrong...but then you see something that looks better than what you have....when really it is not...

I know you let go of His hand, and left him for what the world has...

But God wants you to know He still loves you...and He just wants you to come back to Him!!! He's standing at the end of your broken road with arms wide open, and He wants you to join Him on this new adventure of life!!
I know you can't see beyond the fog!! BUT God CAN!! He truly can!! He has such a vibrant plan for you, and wants you take His hand, you'll see these wondrous new things unfold for you and you'll soon reach the climax of happiness! Don't get me wrong, there'll be plenty on that obstacle course...but that's life. It's part of the adventure.

So I dare you to take that step....
Because:
Z.) God loves you.

Y.) There's so much more to life then just living it day by day...when you dedicate yourself to God's ways and walk on the path He's made for you...everything will seem lighter in a new way..because instead of leaning on yourself, you'll have God to lean on and He can help you make the best decisions and give you a reason to hope!

X.) I love you...we all do...and we just want you to be happy and to have a reason to live.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWgeUrD4MHI&NR=1&feature=fvwp
~"How He Loves Us" DavidCrowder Band

Change? Bring It On.

You know it's kinda funny....

If you had asked me two years ago if I liked change...I would've said no....
And....to this day...my answer is still in the motion of being changed, but....

I was thinking....I've gone through a lot wrapped in a small box...that's caused me to think differently about the future...even about the present.
Prior to this year I knew I should be willing to let the future unravel itself and let change come my way, but it was hard for me to accept that in any way....so I prayed.

I prayed to God asking Him to give me a more willing heart...a heart willing to change for His sake.

And you know what? I feel like I could take on anything He wants to throw my way--I mean! To an extent!!! I'm still pretty set on not wanting to jump off cliffs or anything :D

Hahaha...no....the kinda change I'm talking about is things that would lead to the future in a purposeful way...like moving....in any large or small way...
Moving as in:
Small: stepping forward
Large: literally moving to a different town...city...etc.

I think what's happened is....I'm not afraid...and it's because of God, that I feel such emotions...
No..you know what...I can't even call it an emotion...Emotions change frequently....no....this is something different.....
It's....eternal...something that's affected me for life. And you know what? I'm happy about it =)

So....I'm ready for whatever you have in store God, because I think this realization you've put before me is for the better...and enthusiastically I come before You excited, renewed and restored.

Change?

Bring

It

On.

♥

Astounded.

This....this is one of the most powerful nation-building videos I have seen....and....I'm just in such awe.

As I watched this video, tears were brought to my eyes because of how powerful the love of God was shown here...how people came together and were moved by the Holy Spirit in such mind-blowing ways.

Haiti dedicated its government and country to Satan (witchcraft, voodoo, and the sort) over 200 years ago...and now....

Its hardly exclaimable...

Here's the vid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30rWm84z-zg





Now that you've watched....you know what I mean now don't you?

♥

Check It.

Man. Just had a fantastic moment with God....not gonna go into details, but all in all, God showed Himself to me through Phillippians 2....

It's a fantastic chapter...and I feel like I fully understand that God knows my heart inside out.

He knows your heart through the thickest point too...and don't ever doubt Him. Just sacrifice your time...and let Him hold your hand....because no matter what you're going through...God knows the situation even better then you do...and He loves you for standing strong and being willing to grow.

Even if the rain seems unending...the Sun is a blink of an eye away, and His glory is shining, even though you can't see it.

My heart is beating...
I'm alive in You.
No one can tell me who I am....no one provides such a mind-blowin truth as You do my Lord.

Sometimes I can feel so lost and afraid....but it's at these times I feel like I can't do anything...but pray.

I don't understand a lot of things...I don't understand why God makes us do certain things...commit/ un-commit/ recommit.... what a cycle.
But...at this time of dire need I put my life in Your hands O God, because I know that You're love is so great, pure, and amazing...there's just nothing else I can do.

"The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."
~Zephaniah 3:17

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" ~Jeremiah 29:11

When all else fails...I will remember who you have called me to be and how unfailing your mercy and forgiveness are.
God with all that is within me...I refuse to give up. For you have called me to march onward as a true soldier of yours.

My faith: true
My heart: in love
My brain: confused
My soul: knowing
My spirit: strong
My hands: stretched forth
My eyes: on You

God....with all that I am...I cry out to You. My fears are erased when I'm with you. You silence them and wrap me in your unfailing arms of love. Your peace is so undescribable...it moves miracles. God!

oh God! With everything inside me-- I long for more of you and less of me! Move Me! Teach Me!

Rock My World.

I'm Tired.

Ever get tired of waiting? Tired of waiting for that same old circumstance to happen?

I'm so tired of it. I'm tired of this happening to me.......is it supposed to be this way?

Why me? Why do I have to go through this every year? Why haven't I just accepted it and moved on? Why does it all have to be the same every year....yet...somewhat.....different.

So maybe honesty doesn't work.

Losing a friend still hurts.

I'm tired of it.

"Answer me when I call to you,
O my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
be merciful to me and hear my prayer."
~Psalm 4:1

I just wanna be free <3

Fight the Good Fight.

Just wanted you guys to check out this vid:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CHMVRQgVt8&feature=PlayList&p=6EC3562167206DA2&index=10

Oh...and I came across this verse and thought I'd share it with you guys cause it's so true:

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Fight the good fight.

Unashamely I sign off sayin I'm in love with my God.

xoxo
j.s.

Honesty is Key.

Gosh.

I'm sorry but I need to vent...

If you're my friend, do you like me? Wouldn't that just come naturally? I mean, I feel like you're purposely ignoring me.
Look. I don't wanna ditch you. You're great....really. I mean, I thought our friendship was worth it.

So please....tell me honestly. Do you wanna be my friend or not? I don't care how you say it or what your answer is. I just....I just wanna know the truth so I don't have to be left hanging.

I hope you're reading this.

I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way. If it just so happens that's why you no longer wanna talk to me, then just say so. Because I know I didn't mean it. I'm not like that.

Oh gosh.

God. I'm praying for open eyes. An open heart. So I may see what I'm doing wrong. If I didn't do anything wrong....then I ask you'd give my friend that courage he/she needs, so that he/she can tell me what's up.
Honestly, I just want some honesty.

I love you...and I wish you could just talk to me like we used to.

Yeah...God lead me down this different path...this path that hardly makes sense to me---
but I've gotta do it! It's just something I NEED to do.
Please, don't have any hard feelings about it. Because He specifically told me to do this.
And if this plan He has for me is bugging you...than talk to me. Cause I can talk to you more about it if need be.

His plans for you are also great and magnificent...and they involve a lot of sacrificing as time will reveal.
I hope you can understand. PLEASE though. Just tell me! Just tell me what you're thinking.
Your feelings matter to me! Just talk! That's what friends are for! And unless I'm mistaken...we're still friends....

We're still friends in my eyes anyway....